Living Powerfully

 

 

 

 "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us….," Marianne Williamson
 
 
When you read the above quote what stirs in your heart? Is it a feeling of empowerment and sense of purpose? Or, Do you feel the serpents of fear and doubt creep up telling you that this quote is meant for someone else not you?

In this day and age power is considered something that is full of pure testosterone. As a result, its only manifestation seems to be in crushing others so we can move ahead in life.

But, if you are anything like me you do not subscribe to this definition of power, therefore we completely disown it. In addition, most of us have not been raised in a way where expressing our power was considered acceptable. So the thought of being powerful never ever crosses our mind.

In fact, deep down most of us do not even believe that we have any real power within us. Becausewe feel so powerless, we fear everything. We are afraid to live, afraid to die, afraid to love and afraid to let go.

But most Holy texts tell us something different. In fact, most scriptures in one way or other remind us of the infinite power that resides in us as human beings.

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7 (King James Version)

What is this power? How do we get in touch with this power? How can we live powerfully in this universe yet not step on other people's toes? These too are age old questions.

We all seek answers to these question. In each one of our hearts there is an innate desire to be our best. Despite all the serpents of fear and anxiety ever present within us, we want to do better.

I have also pondered these questions. For the longest I gave in to the fears and negative self talk. I was so devastated by the events in my life that the thought of living powerfully never entered my mind.

Any time I rose up, I rose up out of the fear of being crushed down and annihilated. My fight or flight reaction kept me in a constant state of surveillance.  I was ever ready to pounce at everything and everyone that presented a threat. Seemed like everyone was out to get me and take advantage of me.

Then there were times when I was completely exhausted by my constant vigilant state. As a result, I would give up in exhaustion and let life beat me down.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
When my doctor diagnosed me with adrenal fatigue, I was shocked. Looking back, I know exactly why that happened.
 
Our adrenal glands are the ones that produce adrenalin when our life is at stake and we need to activate fight or flight response so we could either fight the danger or run to safety. For years I had functioned in a constant state of fight or flight.

Every event, every person in my life seemed to be threatening. It seemed like I had to fight for anything and everything I needed and wanted. I felt like no one, not even God was on my side. No wonder my adrenal had given up. Not only was my body tired, I also began losing my eye sight. I went from perfect vision to not being able to see much in a matter of days.

This sudden change in my eye sight scared me. I was scared to go to my ophthalmologist for a checkup. I was certain in my heart that I had some kind of autoimmune disease. I thought I was going to die and let my children down one more time.


At this time I was working for a hospice that required me to work almost 24/7. There were frequent calls after ours. There was mandatory on call regardless of the hours worked. There were times when I would work until wee hours of the morning and still was expected to work the whole day. I constantly struggled with my inability to take care of my tired body and blinding eyes. I was also devastated by my inability to take care of my children.

This was a time of deep turmoil and unrest for me. I really enjoyed taking care of my patients and their families. However, the constant demands to make more visits and work overtime were wearing me down. I felt cornered and unable to act. I thought the survival of my family and me were dependent on my paycheck. Having no other source of income, the thought of quitting this job felt like severing my jugular vein.

One day in a state of exhaustion and despair, I was once again forced to decide. I had to decide between my own physical and mental health and keeping the only source of income I had. As is my usual practice, I meditated and prayed. I asked to be given a clear direction so I could know beyond any shadow of doubt what was in my highest interest.

The answer I heard in my heart was what I was most afraid of. My heart started to pound from this guidance I had received. However, I was still not sure if thats what I would actually do. That morning as I was driving to the office, I continued pondering what was asked of me and if it would be sane to even consider it.

I doubted myself, wondering if I really understood it right. However, a part of me was excited and continued to ask for a confirmation when all of a sudden a big van driving to my left caught my attention. On that van were these words written in big bold letters,

Aura Cleaning Services!

As I wondered what that meant, I saw a car on my right with these words written on it,

Angel Wings Transportation!

For a short while these two vehicles were driving on either sides of me. I felt a feeling of being lifted and cleansed. My fear turned into a complete state of euphoria. I knew in my heart, beyond a shadow of doubt, what I had to do.
 
 
 
 

 
 
So I took a leap of faith, and did the unthinkable. My coworkers, my family, my friends all looked at me like I was nuts. I felt alone yet determined to take care of myself. I decided to do all I had to do to resolve the pattern of constant struggle,the pattern of being abused and taken for granted. I had seen these patterns not only in that job but in many other areas of my life.

After leaving that job, I began yet again, to clean up the mess in my life. I had to ask myself some tough questions and listen to the answers that came to me. I had to begin peeling away in me what demanded this constant stress and drama. I had to face my fears and begin to create a new life for myself.

Sever the ignorant doubt in your heart with the sword of self knowledge. Observe your discipline. Arise.
Bhagavad Gita

Today, I feel supported. This support has come from unexpected sources. This support has come from people I would have never thought would support me. It did not come from where I thought it should come from. I had to give up my judgment of those who I thought could but would not lend a helping hand.

In fact, I realized that I had to give up my judgment towards me to give up my judgment towards others. I was reminded once again that my judgment of others was a result of my judgment towards me. I was also reminded that my feeling of being abandoned by the ones I thought should take care of me, was because I had abandoned myself by allowing myself to go through the mistreatment I received in my previous job. 

Not only that, I also realized that despite all the vices my previous job had, it helped shed light on my own neglect of myself and my own reluctance to standing up for myself fully. Of course, I voiced concern over their new demands of mandatory overtime. But it took me a long time to take a decisive action and really stand up for myself by saying

"No More"!
 
 
 
 

Today, I am doing what I had always dreamt of doing. Today, I have support from those who care about me. I have a business mentor in my life that is committed to help people with no business experience to succeed.

Life is a journey. On this journey, I have only begun to see the fruits of my commitment to myself. I am excited about where this journey is taking me.

I constantly sever the doubt in my heart with the sword of self exploration and self knowledge like the Holy book Of Gita tells us to do. I am experiencing the love like the Holy Bible promises and I am thrilled to experience the glimpses of power that is promised to each and every one of us.

This journey will continue until my last breath. What is life but constant movement and growth? However, I do not want this constant movement and growth to be a reason to stop me from what my heart calls me to do. In fact, I want this constant growth to be the very reason to extend a helping hand to you
 
Today, I am here to invite you to be a part of this exciting journey. Today I invite you to live your dreams powerfully.

I am here to give you hope. I am here to help you embody your spirit of triumph that is your birthright. I am here to empower you, so you can live the life of your dreams.


My first gift to you on this journey of living powerfully is a glimpse into the story of my life. This is my FREE gift.

No strings attached! 

Once you  have a little glimpse into the life I have lived, I would love for you to share your thoughts with me.


I Invite you to Claim Your Gift 


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